The Hemorrhoid and The Student a cautionary tale

Hemorrhoids present a special hell for the student for obvious reasons not least of which is the general the predisposition of most students to be sitting on their butts 99.9% of the time. You may ask yourself why me? What did I do to bring this itchy bleeding painfully embarrassing illness upon myself? You may even find your self drifting downstream from self pity to envy of others with more romantic maladies such as aids or leprosy.


Take heart young scholar surgery is always available as a last resort (not to be tried at home). The garden variety case of ROIDS (hemorrhoids) can be kept under control with your garden variety Roid Cream available over the counter at your local Apothecary. As an added bonus after you have finished applying it to your rectum you can spread it around your eyes and it will make crows feet fly away.

Now why did you catch this nasty case of hemorrhoids in the first place. Well let me make one thing perfectly clear, you can’t catch hemorrhoids from a toilet seat. But if you spend too much time on the throne it could cause pressure in your veins and that could lead to yes……..THE BIG RED ROID.

OR IT Could be diet, if you are feeding yourself you are probably not getting enough of what you need and too much of what you should only have after living a long full life. Which you may do if you start eating right.

Come back for part 2  soon